Holding Your Boundaries and Your Word: Balancing Boundaries with Integrity
We’ve all been there.
You block time in your calendar.
You say, “This is when I’ll do it.”
And when the moment comes?
You delay. You scroll. You tell yourself: “I’m too tired. I’ll get to it later.”
We talk a lot about setting boundaries to protect our time and energy (and we should). But there’s another side to that conversation: boundaries with integrity—the kind that ask, Are you doing what you said you would do?
What Does Integrity Look Like in Practice?
It’s showing up to the writing session you booked with yourself.
It’s sending the proposal when you said you would—even if it’s not perfect.
It’s following through on what matters, not just what’s urgent.
Boundaries aren’t about getting out of things. They’re about being honest with yourself—about your capacity, your priorities, and how you want to show up in the world.
When holding your boundaries turns into avoidance
Sometimes what we call “rest” is actually resistance in disguise.
That “I need a break” moment might be valid. But if you always rest when it’s time to act, your nervous system never learns the difference between burnout and growth.
True self-leadership is knowing when to pause—and when to push forward.
A Self-Check: Is This a Boundary or a Bail?
When you feel the urge to step away from something, ask:
- Did I commit to this from a place of alignment or obligation?
- Would following through now honour my values—or exhaust me unnecessarily?
- Am I avoiding discomfort, or genuinely protecting myself from depletion?
Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is follow through on the promise you made to yourself. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s uncomfortable.
Boundaries and Integrity = Sustainable Performance
This is where many high-performing professionals operate:
They want to protect their energy and deliver great work.
They want to rest and be reliable.
They want to set boundaries without letting things slide.
It’s a fine line. But it’s a powerful one.
It starts with paying attention:
Where am I holding myself accountable?
Where am I letting myself off the hook in ways that don’t serve me?
And then closing that gap—not through force or guilt, but through conscious, compassionate self-leadership.
What This Looks Like in Coaching
Take a real-world example from executive coaching. A senior leader comes to a session feeling frustrated. They’ve been working on setting stronger boundaries—leaving on time, saying no to extra meetings, cutting back on unnecessary tasks. But despite all that, the key strategic project they care most about is still slipping.
They’re doing “the right things,” but not making meaningful progress.
In coaching, we’d slow that moment down and ask:
- What did you commit to?
- What got in the way?
- Where might holding your boundaries have become avoidance?
Then we’d rebuild from a place of alignment. That might mean co-creating a clear, achievable action:
“You’ll spend 60 focused minutes on outlining the strategy this week. It doesn’t need to be final—it just needs to exist.”
And we’d explore how they’re going to show up for that time—not just by protecting it in the diary, but by engaging with it fully. No hedging. No hiding.
A professional coach doesn’t push for hustle. But they will hold space for you to follow through with integrity—so you can build a version of success that’s sustainable, values-aligned, and deeply satisfying.
Are you resisting the commitments you set for yourself? Setting a commitment a with the support of someone in your corner can be the difference between another missed deadline, and steady, purposeful progress. Book a call and get started.
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